Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize