just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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