i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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