I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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