Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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