The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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