I wish I could teleport
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize