If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize