billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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