he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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