you would pick up someone in the library
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize