he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize