proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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