you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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