We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize