it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was like eating out sand paper
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He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
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we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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