Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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