Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize