guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize