i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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