smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize