So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize