Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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