Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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