I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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