I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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