Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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