I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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