3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize