You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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