I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize