nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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