Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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