I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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