would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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