I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize