I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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