all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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