How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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