i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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