Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize