Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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