I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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