It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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