Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize