I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize