When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize