Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize