dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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