But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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